


push and pull

by michuniverse



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, Missing Scene, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24533728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michuniverse/pseuds/michuniverse
Summary: a missing moment after Jade and Beck reunite and kiss onstage (s4e6)
Relationships: Beck Oliver/Jade West
Comments: 7
Kudos: 76





	push and pull

It is unclear if the crowd’s thunderous clapping is for Jade’s performance or the kiss or both. As the noise begins to die down, though, the inner professional in Jade knows its time to move offstage. She pulls away slightly, watching as Beck’s eyelids flutter open. Very early on in their relationship, she realized how much she loved his long brown eyelashes, longer than hers could ever be. Her heart softens—just slightly—as she appreciates how close up she can see them again.

“Time to go?” Beck murmurs. Jade doesn’t have to nod yes; he understands by the look in her eyes. Lacing their fingers together, he leads her towards the wings and down the steps. They weave the throngs of classmates who try to congratulate them, before wilting away under Jade’s glare. The sounds of clapping and cheers for the next performer recede as they escape into the school building. They dart into the janitor’s closet, and then Jade’s back is up against the door as she melts into Beck’s embrace, Beck’s arms, Beck’s lips…

“Wait.” She pushes him away by just a few centimeters, but its enough for Beck’s gaze from wanting to confused. His hands, roaming her back just a moment ago, fall to encircle her waist and play with one of her beltloops. She is tempted to pull him back again, to stop thinking, to just feel his soft lips on hers, but she needs to know.

“You love me again,” she says quietly. Just like the first time she asked it, many months ago, it was meant to be a question, but just like the first time she asked it, something hard and scared in her wins out and makes it a statement. That thing slithers around her thoughts like a cobra: _if you ask_ , it hisses, _you might not receive the answer you want to hear_.

_But it’s Beck_ , another part of her whispers, desperate in a way she could never outwardly be. _If I can’t trust him, who can I trust?_ And of course, thank goodness, that part is proven right:

“Who said I stopped?” he replies, just like last time. The first time, though, his reply had been accompanied by a smirk and the type of confidence that belied he had always thought she would come back. This time, his words are tender, colored by the countless long nights when he’d been convinced he’d never fall asleep engulfed the smell of her lavender shampoo again. The dim lighting in the closet backlights Beck’s face, but she can see the truth in his soft gaze. She feels his thumb running over the small of her back and is tempted again to pull him back in, to run her hands through his thick hair, to fall into his touch.

_Yes, do it while you still can_ , the voice in her head cackles, _before he leaves you again_. And with this thought swimming around her mind, she realizes she needs to double check, triple check. After all, this whole dialogue had happened before. And he’d left her all the same, standing outside, embarrassed and heartbroken, outside of Vega’s door. _Just like I said he would_ , the voice added smugly.

“You told me…before…that you didn’t want to be in a couple that keeps fighting.” _And I don’t know how to not fight_ , she thinks as she shifts her eyes to stare at the soft fuzz on his flannel blazer. She feels his hands dropping off her waist and his warmth pulling away. _Stupid, stupid,_ she thinks. Running his hand through his hair, he takes a step back and scrunches his face.

“I mean, yeah. And no. It’s complicated.” He sighs and drops his hand to his side. Feeling her defenses rise by the moment, Jade crosses her arms and hardens her features. She is becoming a marble statue, the weight of her gaze threatening to crush him, and Beck will have to work to chisel out the living girl inside.

“I don’t like that we used to fight so much that we’d scared our friends away. It was tiring. I was tired.” Beck sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. Meanwhile, Jade’s transformation has completed, and her arched eyebrow holds stone-firm even as her hopes plummet. Outside, another performance has finished and the applause swells through the cracks in the door to fill the silence. The voice in her head cackles— _yes, what a spectacle this is_.

“Well, great.” Her words come out snapping and biting, addressing both Beck and the voice at once. Jade West is ready for anything you throw at her, thank you very much, and that includes _goodbye_. And it won’t be so bad, will it, it’s just the same deal as the past few months have been, and she’s _Jade West and she’ll be okay goddamn it_ —

But Beck pushes through all these thoughts and places a hand on her bare shoulder. Warmth seeps from his skin to hers. She hadn’t even realized the AC was chilling her skin.

“Hey. I’m not done.”

“Well get on with it,” she grumbles, but she doesn’t shrug his hand off. He chuckles.

“Jade, it isn’t easy being with you. But”—she opens her mouth to object but he raises a finger—“but there’s also no one like you. All of you, not just the good parts, like your golden voice and beautiful eyes, but everything else too. Your dark jokes. Your fearless opinions. And yes, even the sound of you yelling at me. I love you, all of you. All of that included.”

Jade is quiet. The voice is quiet. She doesn’t know whether to push or pull in this moment, not when he’s chipped away the marble and everything has been laid bare like this. Through his palm on her shoulder, she can feel Beck’s heartbeat pulsing steadily, guiding time forwards. She counts _beat, beat, beat_ before she speaks.

“So…what then?”

Beck hesitates before meeting her gaze. Brown finds green, and says:

“Maybe we could just try. Try again.” Jade hasn’t even collected herself yet when the voice in her head is rearing to go again, sneaking its poisonous byproducts into her thinking. _Try? That’s the best he can do?_ Jade can’t help but agree.

“And what if we start fighting again?”

“Then we’ll work through it.” His voice strengthening with each word, he moves to pull his arms around her again, but she pushes him away to maintain eye contact.

“No, Beck, what if we can’t work through it?” Worry floods her mind, and the voice’s power grows again, and her hands are about to go up to rake through her curls when, as they ascend, Beck grabs both of them with his own. 

“I’m not sure. But Jade, right now I’m here with you. I’m staying here with you. Listen to me: we’ll work through it.” With that, his lips meet the back of her right hand, and she feels a gentle touch blossoming from her knuckles. She stills, calms, processes. He proceeds to raise and kiss her left.

There is an acoustic guitar solo floating in from outside, wrapping the both of them with a simple, sweet melody. Letting the music drown out any interjections the voice might have, she gives into the peace. She takes a step in towards Beck, and he holds her tight against him, an anchor against the winds of her emotions. She feels his pulse again, now beating through his chest. _Okay, okay, okay_ , she thinks.

They sway softly, neither pushing nor pulling. _Okay, okay, okay._

**Author's Note:**

> I think Bade is portrayed sometimes toxic on the show, but their relationship could have so much more depth.


End file.
